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At this step you normally have answered the Test "Egogram 360". If you haven't yet, we invite you to: |
This second part helps you interpret your Egogram 360 bringing Ego States in everyday life. It also presents other T.A. Core Concepts like transactions, le stimulation need (stroke) and time structuring need, the games, the existential position and the life script. |
Compiled by
the ITAA Development Committee Task Force on Transactional Analysis Core
Concepts (Suite) TRANSACTIONS;
COMPLEMENTARY, CROSSED AND COVERT. Complimentary and Crossed Communication can continue between two people as long as transactions are complimentary: Crossed transactions are important because they disrupt communication. This is useful to know because it helps transactional analysts understand how and why communication is disrupted. The rule is: "whenever a disruption of communication occurs, a crossed transaction caused it." One very important kind of crossed transaction is the discount transaction. Here a person, in his response, completely disregards the contents of a transactional stimulus. Discounts are not always obvious but are always disruptive to the person receiving them and if repeated can severely disturb the recipient. Covert
Transactions. It is important to know the difference between the social and covert levels because in order to understand and predict what people are going to do, the covert level will give provide more information than the overt level. One important reason we say one thing and mean another is that we are generally ashamed of our Child's or Parent's desires and feelings. Nevertheless, we act on these desires and express those feelings while we pretend to be doing otherwise. For instance, we may use smiling sarcasm instead of a direct expression of our anger, or when scared we may counter-attack instead of admitting our fears. When we want attention or love we often feign indifference, and we have trouble giving or accepting them. In fact, because our lives are so immersed in half-truth and deception it can happen that we no longer know what it is our Child really wants. We also don't expect people to be completely honest so that we never really know whether we can trust what they say. Transactional analysts encourage people to be honest with one another, and with themselves, about their wants and feelings, rather than "crooked" and covert. In this manner people can find out what they want, how to ask for it and, if possible, how to get it. STROKES.
GAMES Transactional Analysis became a nation-wide fad in the 1960's due to the best selling success of Eric Berne's book, Games People Play. In this book he assigned engaging names (“Now I’ve got you,” “Kick me,” “I only trying to help.”) for different games. For instance when Jane plays "Why Don' You, Yes But" she asks advice from another but rejects every suggestion so that everyone ends up exasperated. It is the type of conversation which occurs over and over again, especially in therapy groups. It is devious and covert: on the social level, it appears to be a conversation between a person in the Adult ego state asking a question from one or more people who are also in their Adult ego states. What makes it a game is that none of the suggestions are really accepted. The reason for that is that, at the psychological and much more meaningful level, what is really going on is that Jane may need advise but needs strokes even more. Because these strokes are being given in a roundabout way they are not as satisfying as direct strokes would be. This is why the game ends on a note of depressed frustration. PAYOFFS. THE
EXISTENTIAL POSITION. For instance in the game of “Why Don’t You; Yes But” Jane’s existential position is that “nothing ever works out” so that every time the game is played it reinforces that position and justifies further depression. Games are always played with responsibility and interest by everyone involved in them. In order to maintain her existential position Jane will find people who will play the game with her. All the players’ parts in the game are equally important and they all derive a pay-off from it as well. When they participate in the game they too believe it will end in failure. They want strokes as well but are not surprised when Jane rejects all advice and everyone is depressed or angry as a consequence proving that you can’t really help people or that people don’t want to be helped and justifying their bad feelings as a consequence. THE
STROKE ECONOMY. People can learn to exchange strokes freely, open the hearts and give and ask for strokes without shame or embarrassment. Different strokes appeal to different people and everyone has their special, secret wishes. There are many kinds of positive strokes - there are physical strokes and verbal strokes. Physical strokes can be hugs, kisses, holding, caresses, strong or light, sexy, sensual or just friendly, nurturing or slightly teasing and so on. Verbal strokes can be about a people's looks - their face, body, posture or movements or about a person's personality - their intelligence, loving nature sensitivity or courage. In any case, people need and deserve strokes and if they ask for them they will usually find someone who has just the strokes they want and is willing to give them. TIME
STRUCTURING : RITUALS, PASTIMES, GAMES, INTIMACY, WORK Intimacy and work are the most satisfying ways of obtaining strokes. Unfortunately, lasting intimacy is difficult to achieve because people are often emotionally illiterate and work is often unsatisfying when people work in isolation and don’t get praise for their accomplishments. Therefore, people must resort to rituals, games, and pastimes which are safer, though far less satisfying ways of obtaining strokes. For example, a marriage can be an endless and boring series of rituals, pastimes and games. Frequently this is because both partners live on the basis of stroke-depriving life scripts which prevent men from being emotional and intimate and women from being able to use their Adult to ask for and get the love they want. DEGREES. ROLES. THE
DRAMA TRIANGLE. To avoid the drama triangle in psychotherapy, transactional analysts insist on establishing a contract in which the person specifically states what he/she wants to be cured of. This protects both client and therapist: the therapist knows exactly what the person wants, and the person knows what the therapist is going to work on and when therapy is to be completed. In any case, the best way to avoid the Drama Triangle is to avoid the roles of Rescuer, Persecutor or Victim by staying in the Adult ego state. SCRIPTS: People, early in their lives come to the conclusion that their lives will unfold in a predictable way; short, long, healthy, unhealthy, happy, unhappy depressed or angry, successful or failed, active or passive. When the conclusion is that life will be bad or self damaging this is seen as a life script. The script matrix is a diagram used to clarify people's scripts. In it we see two parents and their offspring and we can diagram the transactional messages--injunctions and attributions--which caused the young person to abandon their original OK position and replace it with a serf-damaging not OK position. When life is guided by a script there are always periods in which the person appears to be evading his or her unhappy fate. This seemingly normal period of the script, is called the counterscript. The counterscript is active when the person's unhappy life plan gives way to a happier period. This is, however, only temporary and invariably collapses, giving way to the original scripting. For an alcoholic, this may be a period of sobriety; for a depressed person with a suicide script it may be a brief period of happiness which inevitably ends when the script's injunctions take over. In the Script Matrix of Joseph, a drug addict we see that the script injunction "Don't think, drink instead." goes to Joseph's Child from his father's Child. This powerful message influences Joseph's life dramatically, when he follows his father’s injunction with drugs instead of alcohol causing him repeated drug abuse episodes through his young life and adulthood. The counterscript message "You should not drink to excess," motivates him to make repeated but ineffectual efforts to cut down on drug abuse and it goes to Joseph's Parent from his mother and father's Parent. The Script message: "don't think, drink instead" delivered from Child-to-Child-is more influential than the Parent-to-Parent counterscript message to abuse moderatly: that is why the script messages will usually prevail unless the person changes his or her script. When scripts are not changed they are passed down the generations, like “hot potatoes,” from grown ups to children in an uninterrupted chain of maladaptive, toxic behavior patterns. DECISIONS. As individuals are helped to go back to the early experiences which caused them to make decisions that were necessary for their physical or psychological survival then, but are getting in their way in the present, they can make redecisions to behave differently in order to have a more fulfilling life in the present. It is possible to observe a person's script in brief sequences of behavior called miniscripts which constantly mimic and reinforce the script. The fact is that everything that goes on in people's mental and emotional life is reflected in their behavior. That is how by studying people's transactions, transactional analysts are able to understand the ways and reasons of people's behavior and help them stop playing games, change their scripts and get the most out of life. TRAGIC
AND BANAL SCRIPTS. Members
of certain nationalities or races are supposed to be smart or stupid
or honest or devious or good athletes or reckless or cold and so on. Some
cultures, script their children to be competitive so that they have trouble
cooperating and living with each other. Other cultures emphasize
cooperation and cause people who are strong individuals to feel thy are
no OK. These cultural scripts can affect whole populations
in a harmful way. RACKETS. PERMISSION,
PROTECTION and POTENCY. CONTRACTS: Since people are born OK it stands to reason that with competent help they can return to their original OK position. The capacity to be OK is waiting in every person ready to be released from the prohibitions of the script. Transactional analysts know that by making clear, goal oriented therapeutic contracts, effectively analyzing people's transactions and powerfully giving people permission to change and protecting them from their fears, it is possible for everyone to have a chance to become happy, loving and productive. |
Source:
www.claudesteiner.com